It’s Not Just You: It IS, In Fact, Really Hard to Lose Weight After Having a Baby

Posted on March 6, 2020 by Camilla Maybee

When my son was six months old—even though I was back to my usual workouts and back to work—I had about 10 or 12 extra pounds hanging around. Now, at almost 15 months since having my son, I still have a pesky 5 pounds that will Just. Not. Budge.

As if that weren’t annoying enough, I feel like I can’t make it one single day without being bombarded by little reminders that I should have been able to “bounce back” by now. I mean, c’mon, didn’t Kate Middleton flash her perfect abs while playing volleyball in 4-inch wedges 88 days after having Prince George??

But you know what? My story, not Kate’s, is probably a lot more common.

In fact, at 6 months postpartum or later, the National Academy of Medicine estimates that the mean weight retention is 11.8 pounds, with half of women retaining more than 10 pounds and a quarter retaining 20 pounds or more.

Now, I totally get that just because it’s common doesn’t make it ideal or even what we’re comfortable with. I get that, as new moms, we feel so much pressure from every possible direction to be the perfect parent while also being in perfect shape. I definitely understand what it feels like to watch your baby’s first birthday come and go while still having to live in yoga pants because none of your jeans fit.

And sure, some folks are lucky. We all have that friend, mom, sister, or whoever that wistfully reminisced how their baby weight just melted off in the first few months after giving birth. The fact is, however, that MOST of us are not so lucky.

But WHY?

Anyone who’s had a baby knows that your body goes through some crazy shit. From day one, nothing seems to be working like it should and it’s impossible to know what to expect. What we don’t really anticipate, though, is that just because pregnancy is over and the baby is out in the world, the crazy shit doesn’t stop. Hormones and physiological changes of pregnancy WILL, at some point, normalize—but when exactly that is differs for everyone.

Yes, a lot of the weight you gained during pregnancy was the baby, extra fluid, uterine tissue, etc. But remember that at least some of that extra weight comes from fat stores (usually around the hips and butt) that the body will fight like the dickens to hold onto because it’s our physiologic energy store for supporting a growing baby and for breastfeeding. Uncontrolled hormone levels can also make us retain fluid, which add pounds to the scale and make us puffy and pissed off. These things resolve quickly for some people, but not-so-quickly for others.

And then there are the not-so-physiological reasons that can make it feel impossible to lose extra weight. Even with the happiest, well-tempered baby in the world, raising children is freaking hard. We’re exhausted and tired all the time. We’re stressed and sleep deprived. It’s suddenly really hard to find time to go to the gym or get out and go for a run…and when you DO have time, you may not have childcare.

When we were pregnant, we got used to eating a lot more than we do normally, and it’s actually REALLY hard to suddenly cut out the extra food after 10 months. It sucks to be hungry all the time, and it’s hard to be disciplined about eating a healthy diet when you’re dealing with the unpredictability and chaos that every day life caring for children entails. Oh, not to mention that we’re so tired and frazzled that the easiest solution 99.999% of the time seems to be sending our partner on a run to Chipotle…and by the time you get to that point, you give too few shits to ask for a Keto Bowl and go for the everything-burrito with double-guac instead.

So, yeah. Despite what our very lucky friends and intense social scrutiny would have us believe, there are a lot of very real reasons that some—most—of us find ourselves a year or more out from childbirth still unable to wear our pre-pregnancy clothes. I’m not saying we have to throw a party and force ourselves to somehow be ok with it—I mean, please do if you want because that sounds fabulous—but as a medical provider and fellow new mom I can tell you that there are very valid reasons for the changes we see in our bodies after having a baby. And likewise very valid reasons that those things don’t just disappear when we want them to. Just like everything else, all we can do is our best.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

What We’re Reading Lately

Posted on February 21, 2020 by Camilla Maybee

All 3 human members of our little family are readers, and as such, we LOVE talking about the books we’re currently reading and those that we’ve read and loved lately. My husband and I happen to have slightly different tastes in books, and my 14-month old loves pretty much everything with pictures and opportunities for us to add some theatrics…between the three of us, I hope you find some inspiration to try something new. If you have any more recommendations I’d absolutely love to hear them below!

I’ll start with me–I hesitate to name a favorite genre because I’ve learned that no matter how bonkers the story, it can still be an awesome read if it’s written well. My picks from the last few months are all really different, but that’s pretty indicative of my lineup in general:

1. Say Nothing. This is one of the best pieces of creative non-fiction I’ve ever read, period. It documents a series of events during the Troubles in Northern Ireland surrounding the murder of a woman named Jean McConville. Could not put it down.

2. The Husband’s Secret. I love every single book by Lianne Moriarty (author of Big Little Lies). This one surrounds a bunch of people living in a tight knit community, the assorted secrets they keep from one another, and the brutal (and deadly!) consequences. So good.

3. The Black Prism. This is actually a re-read for me. It’s the first installment in the Lightbringer series, which I actually finished over Christmas break. It’s a steam-punky fantasy that takes place in a world where some people can harness light and create physical material. Even if you don’t think you’re into sci-fi/fantasy, you will love this book. I totally stan this series. The characters are great and it’s very well written. There’s a reason I’m re-reading this!

My husband is an avid fan of speculative fiction (sci-fi/fantasy/etc) a lot of the time, and his reading list recently certainly reflects this.

1. Throne of the Crescent Moon. This is a fantasy novel by a Lebanese/Egyptian-American author. It follows an aging hunter of fantastical monsters as he embarks on a final quest. My husband raved about it and thought it was a great way to break out of Western fantasy scenarios and tropes by setting it in a Middle Eastern-inspired world.

2. Morning Star. This is the third in the Red Rising series, which my husband loved. It takes place in a futuristic Martian society where people are divided into a sort of caste system based on colors. The series focuses on a young miner who joins a sort of terrorist group seeking to infiltrate the Golds, a ruling warrior class.

3. The Girl Who Drank the Moon. This is actually YA but my husband still loved it. It’s about a village that must “sacrifice” a baby to a local witch every year. The story follows one of these children after she is accidentally given magical powers by the witch.

And finally my toddler! Aside from any magazine he can rip to shreds (gotta love cheap entertainment), these are what he’s really enjoyed in the last month or so…or at least what WE enjoy reading to him 😉

1. Never Touch a Monster. I got this book as a baby shower gift. It’s adorable, has big, colorful pictures, and has lots of tactile stimulation on every page. This one probably elicits more theatrics from me that any other book we have. So fun!

2. My Peekaboo Fun: Learning Words. This one is a simple premise—every page is a scene with a bunch of pictures and the answer to a question behind a flap. My son adores the flaps and the book itself is constructed well enough that none of them have broken or torn yet.

3. Rocket Science for Babies. This is one of many books in the Baby University series. We rotate through them, but this one is fun because it’s got a rocket ship in it and apparently my kid likes rocket ships now. Will he actually become a rocket scientist some day? Who knows…but in the meantime I’m finally learning an embarrassing amount of actual physics from this book.

None of the above links are affiliate links. I am not making a dime off of this post–I just genuinely like sharing the things we love to read, and I hope you find some inspiration! I’d also love to hear from you! What are you (and your family!) reading these days?

All images via Amazon

My Kid is Teething and I’m Losing My Mind

Posted on February 8, 2020 by Camilla Maybee

When he’s in pain, my kid has a uniquely horrendous ability to take is all down with him. When he’s teething, my heart goes out to the poor little dude, it really does—his mouth hurts, he can’t sleep, and half the time he’s got a low grade fever. But, damn…can you give the rest of us a break?

There are all kinds of remedies to ease the pain and suffering that comes when baby starts cutting those little teeth, but of course, when you’re in the thick of it you want to cut the shit and know what works and what doesn’t.

First, what works? (And more importantly, what’s safe?)

The very first thing I’ll tell you as both a fellow mom and as a clinician is that you shouldn’t be afraid to offer pain medication. Ibuprofen (Motrin) is my personal favorite, though Acetaminophen (Tylenol) is also a perfectly good choice. Either can be given as often as every 6 hours with the dose based on weight (check the box for correct dose) to soothe pain and the occasional fever that often accompanies teething. During the day, I will give a full dose when my baby is especially fussy and nothing else can soothe him. I will always give a full dose at bedtime. We’ve been through this enough times that I know empirically that it helps blunt the pain enough to keep him asleep longer (read: keep ALL OF US asleep longer) than we would without it.

There are tons of options when it comes to teething toys…sometimes the best solution for baby in the moment is to just let them gnaw away on something.

– I have had success with freezer-friendly toys with gel compartments (though ironically my son likes them unfrozen-ha!). Just make sure the gel is nontoxic.

– I can also personally vouch for this cult-favorite banana toothbrush toy…it’s a lifesaver and can easily be attached to a tether.

– Soak a plain old washcloth in warm water and ring it out. This works as-is, or you can pop it in the freezer and let it get a little frosty.

– Keep in mind that you don’t need any fancy teething toys to get the job done! Anything non-toxic, non-breakable, and that you don’t care will be utterly destroyed is perfectly fine. Some of our favorites…wooden chopsticks, cardboard page baby books, tea towels, plastic baby feeding utensils, and basically any other random thing they pick up!

Now, what doesn’t work?

Do NOT use over the counter teething creams or gels. It’s easy to assume that these are a “more natural” option, but they often contain topical anesthetics (like benzocaine or lidocaine) and ingredients that can be harmful to small children. Many homeopathic remedies may also contain things that have not been properly tested or approved by the FDA. Sorry, your mom or your friend swearing to you that something is safe DOES NOT mean it’s safe. Topical remedies also tend to wash out of the mouth quickly (especially if baby is drooling) and need to be re-applied frequently, which only increases exposure to harmful ingredients. Again, medications like Ibuprofen or Tylenol dosed correctly are both safer and more effective.

Other items that are popular but dangerous include teething necklaces, bracelets, and beads. Yes, I’ll grant that chewing on them helps ease pain, but with all that gnawing they run the risk of breaking and becoming a choking hazard. Necklaces also pose a strangulation hazard.

Amber beads, in particular, have a huge cult following in the ~wellness community~ but have no proven benefit over safer teething toys. Word on the street is that they release succinic acid, which acts as a natural analgesic…this is true, but only if amber is heated to 400 degrees. And as I mentioned above, any kind of necklace on a baby also poses choking and strangulation risks.

One last thing to keep in mind is that older toys, like all the heirloom baby toys I got handed down from my parents and in-laws, often contain lead and can be extremely harmful. Exercise caution with any hand-me-downs, heirlooms, jewelry, or antiques. If you suspect any signs or symptoms of lead poisoning (unexplained fussiness or new colic, irritability, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, constipation, loss of appetite, headache, or insomnia) you should see a doctor right away. If left untreated, lead poisoning can cause severe and irreversible developmental delay and disability.

Image by Mojca JJ from Pixabay